Christmas lights in My Yard

It has long been a tradition in my family that every possible surface outside of the home will be covered with Christmas lights. Gutters, hedges, and porch railing all bristle with glass light bulbs making a sudden slip on the ice a whole new experience. As your feet fly out from under you at angles your legs have not been able to duplicate since you were attempting to make love to your high school sweet heart in the back of your old FireBird, you desperately grab the porch railing only to find a hand full of sharp twinkle lights and slippery "Realistic" plastic pine garland. Nice choice, concussion or stitches!
Most American homes, including ours are not designed to have string upon string of lights neatly arranged on the out side of the house. I am now working on a system of cordless receptacles to be used for Christmas. Wherever the string of lights ends you will be able to plug it in. Simply pull the cover off the double sided tape and stick the receptacle to the surface. Plug the transmitter into the wall in your living room and Presto! Your lights will come on. Version 2.0 will come with the Clapper installed in the transmitter. The only thing stopping me is all that nasty Physics stuff.
Putting up the lights is always an exciting experience at our house. First you ABSOLUTELY CAN NOT under any circumstances put the lights up until the tempature drops 10 degrees below freezing. You can only appreciate the Christmas decorating thrill at this tempature or lower. After all what is more festive then attempting to put a plastic Nativity scene together in high winds with snot wrapping around your head! You know the tempature is just right when your hands stick to the wire reindeer.
I try to stop. Every year I say that this is the last time I will trace out that one damn light bulb that killed the whole strand, but I always buy a few more things at the After Christmas Sale for next year. I think it is genetic. One of my earliest memories is watching my father climb a ladder to put a plastic light-up Santa on the roof of our garage. As he was trying to climb the ladder Dad put Santa up on the roof. Now snow boots on a aluminum ladder are not the most stable combination to have in Ohio in December. The ladder shot out from under him and on the way down he grabbed the edge of the gutter. The gutter proceeds to bend down and dumps all the water and moss on top of him. An instant after he hits the ground Santa comes flying off the roof and bean's Dad on the top of the head! He gets up and kicks Santa in the ass across the road into a field! I laughed so hard I thought I would pee my pants!
That's the reason I do it ever year. I have long forgotten many of the toys I received as a kid, But I'll never forget Dad & that plastic Santa. I like to think that he's still down in that field rubbing his ass where Dad kicked him!